About wondercat40 : Hey! If you ever need to let off steam or anything or talk about thing, feel free to message me about it! I won't judge, and I don't bite!
wondercat40's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
wondercat40's favorite FMLs
Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to attend a meeting with my parents, my teacher, and my bully and his parents. When we started, my bully "broke down" and "tearfully" told the teacher that I was the one bullying him, and that he was getting blamed to cover it all up. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2016 at 5:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by 221bcompanion / 01/18/2016 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 1:40am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML
by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek
by Lara / 01/08/2016 at 6:28am / Germany (Bremen) / Health
by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought… Today, my child support payment got sent to my daughter's father's other child's mother, so she not… Today, I started my first day working the drive thru at Taco Bell. My very first customer, a lady,…