withoutapulse

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withoutapulse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 October 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 470
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About withoutapulse : •I am insane
•I am mentally unstable
•I jump to conclusions
•I worry because I care

Nice to meet you; I'm the asshole they all talk about

withoutapulse's page activity

Visits<b>janderson416</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 9:45am<b>am1717</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:36pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:29pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:33pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:43pm<b>mason4u2</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:59pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:10pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Yaretzi_Lemons</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 10:29pm<b>barnee26</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 6:12pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 2:04pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:41am

withoutapulse's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

withoutapulse's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

by Carrie G. / 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

by anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy