wirelimbs

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wirelimbs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 904
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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wirelimbs's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:49am<b>bossyass</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:29pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 12:56pm<b>Farmer_Ted</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:46pm<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:04pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:55pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:37am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:16am<b>perdix</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 9:27am<b>Grand_Cookie</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 9:01am

wirelimbs's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of wirelimbs's badges

wirelimbs's favorite FMLs

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2016 at 11:29pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in a huge fight with my pregnant wife because I cannot consent to naming our future daughter Paprika. FML

by no / 06/24/2016 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, as I entered our narrow hallway while leaving the bathroom, my belt loop caught on the knob of a nearby closet. My husband had to come and rescue me as I hung there, my ass in the air. FML

by Dangling / 06/20/2016 at 11:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

by pass me the fucking rope / 06/18/2016 at 9:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML

by Toloveornottolove / 06/12/2016 at 12:08pm / Canada / Love

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML

by r1has / 06/11/2016 at 10:58pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Health

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

by oh no / 06/06/2016 at 11:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

by lyinginbed / 06/04/2016 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

by halza / 05/30/2016 at 7:03am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love

Today, I got a rental car because my car needed new tires and I had a long drive ahead of me. Today, the rental car got a flat tire. FML

by alucas3 / 05/29/2016 at 4:14pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy