will45

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will45

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  • Number of visits : 2840
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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will45's page activity

Visits<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:26pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:42pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:15pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:45pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:15am<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 3:19am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:12am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:51am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:00am

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will45's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

by Ob3nie / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

by library book / 07/10/2014 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

by Baskets-Tailleur / 07/07/2014 at 2:58am / France / Love

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN / 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Kids