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whos_ur_daddy1

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whos_ur_daddy1
  • Town/Country : Minnesota
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About whos_ur_daddy1 : Hi... I'm bored.

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whos_ur_daddy1's favorite FMLs

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94190) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (11275)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (11275)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53955) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5754) - you deserved it (28536)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9829) - you deserved it (23451)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (3791)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

#3215628
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55520) - you deserved it (7550)

On 06/25/2009 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112192) - you deserved it (6848)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63661) - you deserved it (5766)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

#1957244
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (8456)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65550) - you deserved it (11925)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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