Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

whoahanna

Search for a member

whoahanna
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6490
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

whoahanna's last visitors

guitardude69Freezebuterbaby

whoahanna's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

whoahanna's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

#2853235
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (5756)

On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130494) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56095) - you deserved it (10646)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (8171)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64682) - you deserved it (14313)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112254) - you deserved it (6850)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML

#2740544
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59416) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100483) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79315) - you deserved it (19068)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (49692)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (10115)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16657) - you deserved it (45617)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (133816)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: