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whiteboy896

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whiteboy896
  • Town/Country : Houston , USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's last visitors

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whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (31832)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (11989)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56924) - you deserved it (5661)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (3607)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

#5824297
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (1331)

On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2213)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (70211)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58017) - you deserved it (14580)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (202363)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80060) - you deserved it (9814)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (253398)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)



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