whiteboy896

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Offline (the 04/27/2015 at 7:37pm)

whiteboy896

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2267
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:07pm<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KarrisTheWolf</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Jetpack_Penguin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Ninjaboss246</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:52am<b>notsoanonymous3</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:45am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>LoneWarden</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:20pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:42am

whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

by Deidle-dee / 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

by anon / 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

by dayum / 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

by kidneystoner / 10/14/2009 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 8:11am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

by mtorres8789 / 06/27/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

by oopsie / 05/24/2009 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy