whiteboy896

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Offline (the 04/27/2015 at 7:37pm)

whiteboy896

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2371
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:07pm<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KarrisTheWolf</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Jetpack_Penguin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Ninjaboss246</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:52am<b>notsoanonymous3</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:45am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>LoneWarden</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:20pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:42am

whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm / Isle of Man / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

by Aly / 08/15/2013 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

by MarkQ95 / 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

by the hated / 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love