white_mouse

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white_mouse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 48240
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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white_mouse's page activity

Visits<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:34pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:27pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:45pm<b>AndyAutopsy</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 5:26pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:02pm<b>krazzygood</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 3:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 5:04pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:33am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 7:47pm<b>sinbadmac</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 2:57pm<b>genius_man16</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:22pm<b>sk8tildeath777</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 10:56pm<b>Jdubbs80</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 10:55pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 1:33pm<b>Ebisumaru</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 11:55pm<b>skinywiteboy805</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 12:47am<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 03/16/2009 at 6:50pm

white_mouse's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

white_mouse's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

by rice_cake / 05/22/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML

by crash / 05/22/2009 at 12:39am / United States / Health

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

by screwed / 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend's number. She texted back, "One of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

by 1suckatL1fe / 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

by ringmaster101 / 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

by saddude / 03/04/2009 at 2:03am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

by AznKoreanGuy / 03/04/2009 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

by dad / 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love