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whatsupitsbrian

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whatsupitsbrian
  • Town/Country : California , USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 214
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whatsupitsbrian's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (14873)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (15280)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60524) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13245) - you deserved it (40748)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (56137)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39552) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68134) - you deserved it (17314)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17192) - you deserved it (61486)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (31924)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

#15308745
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41015) - you deserved it (12731)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (18469)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (11465)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)



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