About whatismissing : Don't pay attention to my username - I don't know how to change it.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
whatismissing's favorite FMLs
by Shooting myself / 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy
by Order of the Dangling Testicles / 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm / United States / Kids
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by noway / 01/03/2014 at 6:03am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Kids
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Cacahuete / 12/28/2013 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…