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whateverwillwork's favorite FMLs
by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
by breyn / 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm / United States / Work
Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Work
Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML
by chloe_zjk / 02/18/2015 at 12:22am / France / Work
by cactii / 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML
by notdaddy / 02/16/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by JefferyLillie / 01/07/2015 at 3:31am / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by Proposal Fail / 01/01/2015 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML
by bridezilla / 12/31/2014 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
by anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 6:28am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML
by thanksmom / 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML
by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…