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whateverwillwork's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
by ChildFree / 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Kids
Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML
by khaoslife / 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by Camera / 04/17/2015 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML
by OptMouse / 04/14/2015 at 7:50am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Sarah / 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
by Distracted / 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
by zetuga / 04/01/2015 at 3:40am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Intimacy
by SkottLong / 03/10/2015 at 2:19am / United States (Utah) / Money
by Hi-Tech / 03/03/2015 at 10:34am / Europe / Miscellaneous
Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML
by definatelynotamurderer / 03/03/2015 at 9:01am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
by Microtron / 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML
by donotbelieveinsecondchances / 03/02/2015 at 9:04am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by dickofbrokendreams / 03/02/2015 at 12:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
by smalltownkid / 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…