weedle99

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weedle99

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1653
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About weedle99 : Hi

weedle99's page activity

Visits<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:03am<b>lamehipster</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 1:46pm<b>_EnderDoge</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 8:27pm<b>jerseygirl94</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:17pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:59pm<b>deathrise007</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:08pm<b>hansalavv</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:24pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:59pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:30pm<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:54am<b>Dexter83</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:47pm<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:27pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:22am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:12pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:45pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:35pm

Fucked!<b>slick5880</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:39pm

weedle99's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of weedle99's badges

weedle99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Intimacy

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

by anonynomi / 11/19/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML

by I'm my husband's second mom / 11/03/2015 at 2:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

by idontmakethedresscode / 10/23/2015 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

by lemonchips / 10/12/2015 at 5:28pm / Norway / Kids

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, the nicest present I received for my 18th birthday was a free razor in the mail. It was then stolen by my mom. FML

by ezrocks4u / 09/20/2015 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous