weedle99

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weedle99

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1282
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About weedle99 : Hi

weedle99's page activity

Visits<b>hansalavv</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:24pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:59pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:30pm<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:45pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:54am<b>Dexter83</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:47pm<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:27pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:22am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:12pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:45pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:35pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:30pm<b>xMaeLA</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:48am<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:45pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:51am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:47pm

Fucked!<b>slick5880</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:39pm

weedle99's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of weedle99's badges

weedle99's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

by lemonchips / 10/12/2015 at 5:28pm / Norway / Kids

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, the nicest present I received for my 18th birthday was a free razor in the mail. It was then stolen by my mom. FML

by ezrocks4u / 09/20/2015 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

by fuckstudentloans / 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

by VHBJ / 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

by fffemaleee / 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

by woof? / 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids