About websphere69 : I drive OTR for a flat bed company so I get to see new places all the time and get paid while doing it.
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websphere69's favorite FMLs
Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML
by ilovemom / 01/21/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
by SoVeryMonday / 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
by eyeamcool / 04/17/2009 at 12:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Texas) / Love
- Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier… Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance… Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate…