websphere69

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Offline (the 05/22/2016 at 11:05pm)

websphere69

4Fucked!

websphere69websphere69
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 July 1969 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1191
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About websphere69 : I drive OTR for a flat bed company so I get to see new places all the time and get paid while doing it.

websphere69's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:09pm<b>helloitsmeee</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:31pm<b>datdrumchick_32</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 6:53am<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 3:58am<b>Katlyn94</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 2:02pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:36am<b>saruhhh</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 11:50pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 11:16pm<b>EpicPickelMagic</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 11:01pm<b>mld4657</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:52am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:05am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 9:28am<b>rldostie</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:12am<b>1991stealth</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:58am<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:21am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:03pm<b>FMLusername969</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:35am<b>weedle99</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:03pm

Fucked!<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 9:02pm<b>mld4657</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:45am

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Santa Claus

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websphere69's favorite FMLs

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

by fuckyouverymuch / 06/13/2013 at 6:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / Germany / Work

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

by obsequiousfannyflapper / 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

by roomingwithevil / 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous