watchwhileusleep

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Offline (the 03/27/2016 at 7:47pm)

watchwhileusleep

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Santa Barbara, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 986
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About watchwhileusleep : You guys all suck.

watchwhileusleep's page activity

Visits<b>MangoLoco</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:20am<b>neawalkerthebear</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:54pm<b>michu</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 2:42pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:12am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:35pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:36pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:53am<b>PikarooArtist</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:27pm<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:54pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:10pm<b>zarrganaut</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:17am<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:48am<b>CalvinZ31</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:43am<b>xninix</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:11am<b>ronibear</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:00am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:46pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47pm

Fucked!<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:54pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:15pm

watchwhileusleep's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of watchwhileusleep's badges

watchwhileusleep's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

by bambam / 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

by vee2013 / 04/26/2014 at 12:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

by time to lawyer up / 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

by lyss / 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

by thatisfuckedup / 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

by _Tatyana_ / 06/13/2013 at 3:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy