Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wastedpenguin

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

wastedpenguin

18Liked!

wastedpenguinwastedpenguin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 680
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wastedpenguin : Kik:xiaoxaio
Snapchat:ashk36

wastedpenguin's page activity

Visits<b>fml131412</b> - yesterday at 10:20pm<b>Scheffy213</b> - yesterday at 8:02pm<b>Cloco98</b> - yesterday at 6:50pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:59pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:06pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:26pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:37pm<b>natassjaesq</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:40pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:09am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:55pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:48pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:29am<b>BananaSantos</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:57pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:11pm<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:58am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:24am

Liked!<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:48am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:17am<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:45pm<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:18pm<b>mayleennyc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:26am<b>nikkih_06</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:45am<b>jen1097</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:46am<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:15am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:06am<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:42pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Bree06</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:53am<b>natassjaesq</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:26am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:04am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:53pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:16am

wastedpenguin's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of wastedpenguin's badges

wastedpenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (2702)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36066) - you deserved it (3858)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (4863)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

#21174174
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49545) - you deserved it (5261)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML

#21168448
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (9659)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48160) - you deserved it (4887)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43471) - you deserved it (4914)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (3122)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55975) - you deserved it (12506)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: