wardie

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wardie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1960
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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wardie's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 4:03pm<b>augenblake</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:45am<b>iSonia</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 11:57pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:59pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 12:32am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 10:43am<b>maayers</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 4:01am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:55pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:10pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 9:47pm<b>utrax</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:17pm<b>Randy84</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:41am<b>Nilan</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:50pm<b>Juniorhap</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:58am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:40pm

wardie's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of wardie's badges

wardie's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

by mooselord / 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States / Health

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

by Sherressa / 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

by car keyer / 12/02/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

by Eggs / 11/15/2013 at 12:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

by I get the hint / 09/18/2013 at 2:19am / Health