Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wanted_2_want

Online | Search for a member

wanted_2_want

62Fucked!

wanted_2_wantwanted_2_want
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wanted_2_want : 'If Life Gives you Lemons...' Sell them for PROFIT and then get the salt and tequila!!

Although sometimes is rather difficult, I try to find a funny side even out of bad situations.

BTW that's my cat in a very sinister pose...in case you were wondering. Salud!!

wanted_2_want's page activity

Visits<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - yesterday at 4:30pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - yesterday at 1:29pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:35am<b>robinselise</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:11am<b>lover2413</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:51am<b>lightning20</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:26am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Bruhjf</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:54pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:23pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:51pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:37pm<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:27am<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Unwantedpanda</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:37am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:54am

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:47pm<b>kyiomi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:05pm<b>hellagaya97</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:56am<b>Berber260</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:24pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:56am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:59am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:14pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:28am<b>kylie31</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 10:00pm<b>Katluv4566</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:04am<b>crossl16</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:29pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:29pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:04am<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:38pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:02am<b>saruhhh</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 6:09am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:50pm

wanted_2_want's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of wanted_2_want's badges

wanted_2_want's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML

#21452034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (20766)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by just wanted nice nails - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3520)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32545) - you deserved it (5764)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (3033)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (2882)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (3866)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (4682)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (4365)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35700) - you deserved it (11102)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33305) - you deserved it (3687)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (8198)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (3301)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: