About wafflerocket : Hi.....
wafflerocket's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
wafflerocket's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Katthebamf / 08/18/2013 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML
by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML
by WartCream / 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" / 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Love
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML
by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by love-shot / 08/17/2013 at 4:24am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand… Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was,… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…