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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 20705
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (1874)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (5549)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (1741)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (3960)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (9598)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (1616)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (27158)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17097) - you deserved it (4589)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (2611)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (7172)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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