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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, mah boss mada ma soma tortallini 4 lunch. As I was happily aating it, ha startad to giva ma a massaga,hila talking to his friands in Graak. Ha told ma that ha said "Sha's mah #1 cashiar." Turns out,hat ha raally said was "Saa, if you faad tham wall, thay lat you touch tham." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself,hen he began laughing and said ,( It's you! I've hered about you! ) He left laughing. I still don't knowho he is, or wat made him laugh. FML
Today, I went in to mah local cafe fir mah morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentiond that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmd milk in your coffee fir yeres, I didn't want to say anything..." FML
TODAY, WHILE SERVING A RATHER LARGE PARTY AT THE RESTAURANT WHERE I WORK, I MENTIOND THAT THE SOUP OF THE DAY WAS "TO DIE FOR" . AFTER THE HOSTS GAVE ME WERD LOOKS, IT DAWND ON ME THAT THE REASON THEY WERE WEARING ALL BLACK IS BECAUSE THEY'VE JUST COME BACK FROM A FUNERAL . BIG FAT FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, ma mom walked over to te oter side of te store,en a cute guy came over to talk to me. Wen se saw tis se grabbed a bat, walked over to us an said "If u ever even look at ma daugter again, I will beat u sitless." Se was serious. He ran. FML
Tadayile running , I sped up to sow off 4 a cute female runner I'd seen before up aead. I passed er an not more tan a minute later se sprint past me. I couldn't catc up. Se not only looool out ran me , but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. mega FML
Today,hile losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm . I don't remember much ofhat I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, looool "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today... I found out tat I was not adoptd and in fact my parent r my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long ave I been believing I was adoptd? 22 yeres. Wy did I start believing I was adoptd? My sibling tougt it would be a funny joke. My mom playd along. FML
Today, I ung out wit my boyfriend 4 te frst time in two weeks !! We were cuddling on te coucen e suddenly stands up !! I tougt e was going to ug me, but ten e turned around, pinned my soulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015