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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 20729
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML

#14200439
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/14/2010 at 8:32am - love - by A. nonymous -

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (9474)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94212) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9870) - you deserved it (19075)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11584) - you deserved it (79455)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2615)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (11276)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (2640)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (5726)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (4919)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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