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vocaloid_01's favorite FMLs
Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML
by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2016 at 11:18am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML
by DeepFriedZombie / 08/08/2016 at 8:18pm / Work
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I finally did my laundry after a good few weeks, only to think another washer was a dryer. I just ran my clothes through the wash 3 times, because I was confused as to why they weren't drying. FML
by dumbAssCollegeStudent / 03/03/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to fenagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML.
by WretchedOwls / 03/03/2016 at 6:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML
by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by shubididubbitty / 02/20/2016 at 1:06pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML
by womanoski / 02/20/2016 at 12:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 3:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, an old lady walked up to my car on a busy street and banged on my window. She was annoyed because I was making a left, as opposed to continuing to drive when there was no traffic in front of me. She then got in her car and held the horn until I went. FML
by deebroooo / 02/18/2016 at 11:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML
by EllieS9311 / 02/16/2016 at 8:16am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML
by JavitheWrestler / 02/13/2016 at 6:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML