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vocaloid_01

Offline (the 05/01/2015 at 2:23am) | Search for a member

vocaloid_01

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 412
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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50 favourites

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vocaloid_01's favorite FMLs

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (4609)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (2730)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (2440)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (1951)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (4237)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (2386)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2095)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (5195)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

#21397382
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/21/2015 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25759) - you deserved it (9429)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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