Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vmml97

Search for a member

vmml97
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2784
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About vmml97 : Living an FML worthy life in the Greater Toronto Area

vmml97's last visitors

nothinghere1234MrDanteJazzy9999jefsayedkpetrovskiravens4life

vmml97's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vmml97's badges

vmml97's favorite FMLs

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (42142)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39610) - you deserved it (3598)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35403) - you deserved it (3741)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (15268)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (4122)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (5886)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33474) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (5235)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (18798)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43576) - you deserved it (6798)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (5937)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (4582)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52962) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (37452)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: