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  • Town/Country : Whitby, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4697
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About vmml97 : Living an FML worthy life in the Greater Toronto Area

vmml97's page activity

Visits<b>noodlemantra</b> - yesterday at 8:02pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:50am<b>kdawg567</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:14pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:14am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 11:24am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:02am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:37am<b>tardisseeker</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:02am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:03am<b>MeatDog</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:06pm<b>S_Melh</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:37pm<b>spinster5</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:33am<b>jacky051</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:53pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:29pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:38pm<b>turtlesokay</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:22am<b>nesteremily</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:55am

Fucked!<b>noodlemantra</b> - yesterday at 2:03am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 3:03pm<b>MeatDog</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:07am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:18am<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:24am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:36pm<b>bps315</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:41am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:31am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:57am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:24pm

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vmml97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I attended a TEDx conference. The woman sitting next to me spent the whole time picking her nose, playing with the retrieved contents, and sticking her hand down her pants. FML

by geekpower / 02/29/2016 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

by demideity / 12/08/2015 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy