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vmml97

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vmml97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Whitby, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3734
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About vmml97 : Living an FML worthy life in the Greater Toronto Area

vmml97's page activity

Visits<b>infected150</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:08pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:28pm<b>YIMAVERICKIY</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:48pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:26am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Railworker12</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:59pm<b>quats17</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:52pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:14pm<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Nina1988</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:52pm

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vmml97's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27508) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3784)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (6431)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34439) - you deserved it (5143)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49290) - you deserved it (3481)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (6354)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40214) - you deserved it (4855)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (4561)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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