vmml97

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vmml97

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Whitby, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4954
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About vmml97 : Living an FML worthy life in the Greater Toronto Area

vmml97's page activity

Visits<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:45pm<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 8:02pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:50am<b>kdawg567</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:14pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:14am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 11:24am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:02am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:37am<b>tardisseeker</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:02am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:03am<b>MeatDog</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:06pm<b>S_Melh</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:37pm<b>spinster5</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:33am<b>jacky051</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:53pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:29pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:38pm<b>turtlesokay</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 2:03am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 3:03pm<b>MeatDog</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:07am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:18am<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:24am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:36pm<b>bps315</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:41am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:31am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:57am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:24pm

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vmml97's favorite FMLs

Today, my new girlfriend took me on a double date with her, her best friend and her best friend's new girlfriend. Which would have been fine, if her best friend's girlfriend wasn't my recent ex. The small world of a lesbian. FML

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

Today, I did a California stop during a drive with my Driver's Ed teacher. He made me get out, hug the stop sign and apologize to it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 9:13pm / Transportation

Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML

by Crushgonewrong / 06/22/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I attended a TEDx conference. The woman sitting next to me spent the whole time picking her nose, playing with the retrieved contents, and sticking her hand down her pants. FML

by geekpower / 02/29/2016 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love