About vlalam : Stress and worries solve nothing.. lets lighten the mood, hit me up if u wanna chat..
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vlalam's favorite FMLs
Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML
by jesterinperil / 02/16/2015 at 5:38pm / United States / Money
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
by King_of_hearts / 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm / United States / Love
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
by cherbear1000 / 06/17/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:01am / United States / Love
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Mikaela / 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
by mass message / 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by SleeplessInSoCal / 08/09/2010 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Allie / 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
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