vibekillerlol

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Offline (the 08/19/2015 at 7:08pm)

vibekillerlol

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 499
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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vibekillerlol's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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vibekillerlol's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends told me they will be unable to attend my birthday party on Friday because they'll be watching the Vampire Diaries finale. FML

by Muralove / 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Geek

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm / Canada / Kids

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

by period_probs / 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

by noshow / 12/11/2014 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy