About vewwe : I usually visit FML in the morning when I wake up or at night before going to bed. It always puts a smile on my face. I apologize if you hated my comment, I've noticed that my swedish humour doesn't always appeal to everyone.
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vewwe's favorite FMLs
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML
by Brittany / 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God"… Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched… Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only…
- Today, after working 6 days a week, making well over overtime and happy for a well rested day off,… Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car…