Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vewwe

Offline (the 01/17/2016 at 3:53pm) | Search for a member

vewwe

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1294
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vewwe : I usually visit FML in the morning when I wake up or at night before going to bed. It always puts a smile on my face. I apologize if you hated my comment, I've noticed that my swedish humour doesn't always appeal to everyone.

vewwe's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:38pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:46am<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:13am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 6:42am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ForwardUn2Dawn</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 1:13pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:04am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:34am<b>Jaymojustmaybe</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:44pm<b>johnny29</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:28am<b>shawndry</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:48pm<b>OohhKillEm</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:43pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:47pm<b>hoondigi</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:56pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:03pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:30pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:38pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:04pm<b>johnny29</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:29pm

vewwe's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of vewwe's badges

vewwe's favorite FMLs

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (8550)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (4075)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6878) - you deserved it (48117)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11050) - you deserved it (36934)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12666) - you deserved it (40642)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15028) - you deserved it (27659)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (38771)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (13527)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
750 comments

I agree, your life sucks (302025) - you deserved it (164269)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (295313) - you deserved it (19927)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (309681) - you deserved it (21817)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: