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vespergreen

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vespergreen
  • Town/Country : Neverwhere
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1184
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : Your body contains the universe, and I want to touch every star.

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vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (3545)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (3843)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (5432)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (6765)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35821) - you deserved it (2493)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (5193)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (11068)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36927) - you deserved it (9379)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (3650)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)



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