vespergreen

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:58am)

vespergreen

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5525
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>MannyM</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:09pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:13pm<b>MrPerks93</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 5:47pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:44am<b>earlpam</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:47am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:00am<b>wangwong</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:15am<b>_klausMH</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:49pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:27pm<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:37pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:16am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:55pm<b>karaanne21</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:00pm

Fucked!<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:13am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:27am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:42am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:24am<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

Perfectionist

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

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vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

by 2ndgenoration / 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

by Female Struggles / 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

by imnotastranger / 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm / Kids

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous