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vernk

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vernk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2990
  • Number of comments : 258
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About vernk : silent type

vernk's page activity

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vernk's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vernk's badges

vernk's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

#676
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (2158)

On 01/02/2009 at 12:37am - love - by Godmish - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16722) - you deserved it (7835)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

#639
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (2064)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm - misc - by Aintnosunshine - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (4650)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

#608
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/27/2008 at 5:26am - love - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (6123)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8338) - you deserved it (64739)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (3193)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (12073)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (8376)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (9357)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (9215)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

#354
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (3773)

On 11/21/2008 at 5:06am - love - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (14218)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version



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