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velvel

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velvel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5468
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (4239)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (9357)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (3987)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (31090)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48695) - you deserved it (6226)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (8405)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15585) - you deserved it (28088)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (10070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)



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