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vegemute

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vegemute

47Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4953
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I have a love for survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:09pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:05pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:39pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:45pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:14pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:49pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:26pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:58pm<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:04pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:57am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:39pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:20am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:07pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:36am<b>iireenee</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:53am

Fucked!<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:35pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:07pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:46pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:04pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>lolcaption2324</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:55am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:12am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:36am

vegemute's FML badges

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (3302)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (9213)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (9213)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (41910)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (41910)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

#20014690
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (5274)

On 08/11/2012 at 2:21am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (2397)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (2397)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

#20014051
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (4155)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (4155)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)



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