vegemute

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vegemute

50Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5469
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I have a love for survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:39pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:41am<b>killer0689</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 2:17am<b>serrentinoj</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:26pm<b>princessofbelair</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 8:37pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:57am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 10:55am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:07pm<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:09pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:05pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:39pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:45pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:14pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:49pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:26pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:58pm

Fucked!<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:43am<b>princessofbelair</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:26am<b>serrentinoj</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:59pm<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:35pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:07pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:46pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:04pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>lolcaption2324</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:55am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:46am

vegemute's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

by theflow / 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

by Todd / 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm / United States / Health

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

by impickingyourhomegran / 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

by jannister / 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

by millie219 / 08/13/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Love

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

by burnt / 08/13/2012 at 12:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids