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vegemute

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vegemute
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (8139)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (3857)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (1034)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (8700)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5051) - you deserved it (16618)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (1148)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (2245)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (42423)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17609) - you deserved it (2399)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10293) - you deserved it (32079)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (14472)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (1227)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (4613)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)



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