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vegemute

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vegemute

5Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3859
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name Jack. I'm a huge fan of survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - 22 hours ago<b>_lyricall</b> - 24 hours ago<b>flyingmind</b> - yesterday at 10:14pm<b>LunaBlack666</b> - yesterday at 7:31pm<b>echarlotte</b> - yesterday at 10:55am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:34am<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Heatmizer</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:40am<b>trevorboii</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:45am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:16am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:54am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:39am<b>nunes36</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:08am<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:13am<b>Archangel77</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:58am<b>Majjzg</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:26am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:21am

Fucked!<b>echarlotte</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:48am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:30am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

vegemute's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34198) - you deserved it (5134)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49080) - you deserved it (4344)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (24872)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58893) - you deserved it (9692)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (6666)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (2435)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (45081)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (7583)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (6257)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (7207)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



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