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veebiter's favorite FMLs
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous