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vanna88's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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vanna88's favorite FMLs
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML
by ms98 / 08/05/2014 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by infortunatename / 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
by asshalf15 / 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML
by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by library book / 07/10/2014 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to…