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vanna88's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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vanna88's favorite FMLs
by birdisnottheword / 03/11/2015 at 9:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by nohobo / 03/09/2015 at 5:22pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
by HaliMali / 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm / United States (New York) / Money
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML
by financially_wreckd / 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm / Money
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML
by KalaKa / 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm / United States / Love
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
by Gassy and sassy / 12/07/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love
- Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm… Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to… Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses…