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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 255
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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val4711's page activity

Visits<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 1:12am<b>jodee_renee</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:31pm<b>SheBeNeNe</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:05pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:03pm

val4711's FML badges

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It’s in the can

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val4711's favorite FMLs

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

by windshitwipers / 05/30/2013 at 5:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

by mammasboy / 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work