Search for a member

Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 6:21pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 May 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1372
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

usernameunkn0wn's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:37pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:53am<b>LowLifeKid</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 5:44pm<b>S_Melh</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:42am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>BeastGiannasio</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:23am<b>Dmeijer87</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:02pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>file321</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:58am<b>Taycole93</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:04pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:46am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:26pm

Fucked!<b>Dmeijer87</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:02am

usernameunkn0wn's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of usernameunkn0wn's badges

usernameunkn0wn's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

by mylifesucks / 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

by heartbroken / 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm / Australia / Love

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

by NathanA / 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

by me / 06/28/2013 at 11:51am / United States / Miscellaneous