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Offline (the 12/01/2014 at 5:46am) | Search for a member
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I cummd back from work to find dog shit splatterd all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't lyk thunder. FML
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML
Today, she did it again. While I was minding own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me an slashed face with her nails, drawing blood an screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt asshole of a cat. FML
today a few of ma friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping wit te guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of te pool in panic, ma crus called us all freaks and left. FML
Friday 27 March 2015