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unholyhalfbreed's favorite FMLs
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML
by jfc519 / 08/12/2012 at 12:23pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by messed up / 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
by alex / 03/14/2011 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of… Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex,… Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to…