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un1corns's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
un1corns's favorite FMLs
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by reallyupset / 11/29/2011 at 12:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by jshibbz0993 / 11/23/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Florida) / Money
by bad karma / 11/21/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Health
by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by arthur / 11/19/2011 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
by Aleial / 11/19/2011 at 3:20am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…