Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/27/2015 at 4:20am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 682
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About ukeandfoodislife : Welcome to my profile! If you click that Fuck button, I'll return the favor ☺️

ukeandfoodislife's page activity

Visits<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:47pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:31pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:20pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>gomiyage</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:52am<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:50pm<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:18am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:20pm<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:29pm<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:46pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 7:01am<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Jowisee</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:08am<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 12:22am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:34pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:50pm

Fucked!<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:46am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 8:50pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:12am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_panda</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Timpa70</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:59am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 5:29am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:06am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:14am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:21pm<b>jozhe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:31pm<b>ArcheryArtist</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:29am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:16pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:36pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:32pm

ukeandfoodislife's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ukeandfoodislife's badges

ukeandfoodislife's favorite FMLs

Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (6388)

On 09/15/2015 at 10:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (2068)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (4511)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (2193)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm - kids - by ddhaley1 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52195) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60862) - you deserved it (5739) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49096) - you deserved it (5497)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (9548)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: