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type1's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by Normal / 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible… Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test… Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself.…
- Today, I was running late to work and noticed that my car keys weren't in the right spot. I quickly… Today, I gave my dad whiplash. He was teaching me how to drive stick, and I let the clutch out too… Today, the same boss that made me cry last week for something that wasn't my fault, flipped a shit…