Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tylergonmad

Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 4:34am) | Search for a member

tylergonmad

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1004
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About tylergonmad : I like pie

tylergonmad's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:15pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>randomcrazyguy</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:24pm<b>gingerman38</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 1:07am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:55pm

tylergonmad's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of tylergonmad's badges

tylergonmad's favorite FMLs

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (2102)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125) - you deserved it (30)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (9502)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (47937)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (6747)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32799) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (13577)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: