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tylergonmad

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tylergonmad
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About tylergonmad : I like pie

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tylergonmad's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61790) - you deserved it (5650)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (5449)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (1473)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

#19964945
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (3901)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

#19914260
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (6078)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2887)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (22135)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML



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