Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

76Fucked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16916
  • Number of comments : 736
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>ThreeSheets</b> - 33 minutes ago<b>konan__</b> - 59 minutes ago<b>kmarie22_613e</b> - 11 hours ago<b>leftovergirl</b> - 12 hours ago<b>vsus98</b> - 17 hours ago<b>snarkytruth</b> - yesterday at 7:00am<b>Rosieflowers7</b> - yesterday at 12:51am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 12:00am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - yesterday at 11:39pm<b>chicken_dip</b> - yesterday at 11:38pm<b>bobbers67</b> - yesterday at 10:51pm<b>dereksboo44</b> - yesterday at 9:45pm<b>ashpash207</b> - yesterday at 9:39pm<b>deadoftheshaun</b> - yesterday at 9:10pm<b>Thornorn</b> - yesterday at 8:16pm<b>Only_Henry</b> - yesterday at 7:08pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - yesterday at 7:08pm

Fucked!<b>ThreeSheets</b> - just now<b>chicken_dip</b> - yesterday at 5:39am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 8:16pm<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:57pm<b>Frechy</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:23pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:33am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:59am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:23pm<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:43am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:30pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:56pm<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Dingodile</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:47pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:25am

tygerarmy's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

#21525521
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2798) - you deserved it (550)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm - health - by neveragain (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

#21525510
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3267) - you deserved it (226)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

#21525452
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (776)

On 02/12/2016 at 10:13am - health - by tooembarrassed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7540) - you deserved it (40103)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (1735)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (2125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

#21520859
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11759) - you deserved it (24688)

On 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm - love - by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

#21520696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (1505)

On 01/29/2016 at 7:51am - misc - by TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

#21520025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (4336)

On 01/27/2016 at 10:35am - misc - by 404: Sanity Not Found (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: