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twiztedone

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 2:48pm) | Search for a member

twiztedone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 561
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twiztedone : It's all about fun!

twiztedone's page activity

Visits<b>ajk168</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:30am<b>osr215</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 10:45pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:36am<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:01am<b>johnduke456</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 5:46pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:18am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:22am<b>Michellelaura67</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 10:28pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:57pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:11am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 4:09am<b>imabassist</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 5:40pm<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 3:08am<b>shahalamder</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:32pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:11pm<b>julian0605</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Chilaxe</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:35am<b>Skittles_Wiki</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:31am

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twiztedone's favorite FMLs

Today, ma usband finally returned from is 18-mont deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from ma Aunt. Se was iding in our closet teole time to surprise us wit cake for is safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81058) - you deserved it (7394)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after six monts of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous metod, I found out te professor wo concieved it as transferred to ma favorite college to ead te department I'm applying to study in . Tey require I submit te paper wit ma application . FML

#20548512
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (4454)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me . It ended up bieng so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of there breadsticks . FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (9638)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I lerened that I look amazing in a little black dress!! Now I have to figure out wat I'm going to tell my wife!! FML

Today someone put ahole packet of glitter on the blade of mah ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticedhen I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me ( Mmm, you've got a nice tushie. ) My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything!! Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors!! I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book!! FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5492)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life... but wining tat te "cute" clots my aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er... instead of looool bieng "wasted". FML

Tadayile on te bus te guy sitting beside me let out te vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd te kind tat could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors wit te smell alone!! As I gaggd e smrkd and said "Tat's Taco Bell 4 ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, mah daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do mah husband calld me from hospital needing a lift home. He trid planking on top of his carhile his buddies spd it down a hill and I now have to take care of himhile his broken leg heals. mega FML

#20428520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, girlfriend donatd most of book collection because she got me a Kindle fir Christmas. Some were signd, including Harry Potters. fat FML

#20427017
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55759) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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